i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
