Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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