Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
