the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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