I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
