I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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