Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
