It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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