I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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