their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
