Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think my mom watched the whole time
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
