Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
only if we run a train.
done.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
