I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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