i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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