idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
