you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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