I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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