i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
