shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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