I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
