when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize