she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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