I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
