your thong is hanging out like whoa
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
