There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
