Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need to calm my uterus...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
