I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
not ubering you a puppy
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