She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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