I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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