if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
