Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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