Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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