every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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