We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize