i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
