READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize