Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
