It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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