is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
