Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize