ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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