u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
