Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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