We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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