Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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