I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize