but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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