I just cut my nipple shaving
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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