I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
