I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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