The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
