my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
