Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
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