the new term for farting is butt boxing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
