Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
