Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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