And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
