If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
