Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
