Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
