If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
