Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
