Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
