Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
