Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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